So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
