**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
