They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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