I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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