she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
