ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
