Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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