Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
