i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
