I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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