then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
