No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we made out on top of his cat.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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