Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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