I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize