Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
