Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
