I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
drinking out of a sandbucket again
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
