I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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