what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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