what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
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