If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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