How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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