Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
