I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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