I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize