tell your sister to shave her snatch
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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