If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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