Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
