I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
