Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You ruined the universe
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize