You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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