There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
