It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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