I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
