need another drink. this is the easiest way
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
