gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
