Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I take back everything I said about communal showers
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
