Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
