went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
