What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
