Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
