My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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