No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
