Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My ass is underappreciated
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
