I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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