Got a toothbrush?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize