problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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