A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
