Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
