no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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