So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
