i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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