At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
