I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Ladies don't puke and tell
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
