he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
