used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize