The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
