I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
