Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
false alarm, still single
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