O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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