I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize