So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
