I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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