Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
