have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
