I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
