You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
