There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
