I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
