Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize