apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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