she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize