did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
