I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
