I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
