1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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