My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize