nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
