the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Too much gin, very little bucket
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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